Teen Camp on 3.12.2010

this is not first time i am handling juvenile delinquent camp
this is 3rd year i am working in this place, and it's a anual program
The camp was held at Merbok, Kedah

this round, we have 26 participants out of 40
there is 16 indian, 10 chinese who involved with this camp

as usual, we start the activities with ice-breaking
each of the participant will introduce their name, age, how they wish to call
then, we start to do "action", name follow by an action
after that, we try to move and play some warming up activity

come to the game of "TRUST"
the game i name it "passenger and driver"
two was paired up in this game, one is driver, one will be passanger
the person choose to be passenger will be standing in front of the driver
what the passenger need to do is : close their eyes, and followed the direction from the driver
grounds rules were set, where by, the driver need to carry passenger carefully
do not "crash" to others people when moved around

yet, when the game start, they do it well...
but after that, the teenager start to create problems
they can't follow the rule, and start to hit people
i stop it, and asked them to switch, again, remind the rule
when the 2nd time playing this activity

there is a group of teenagers come and bump on me
i try to step back, go out, but 2nd hit is coming, bump in front of me
i was shock, and the group who bump me, still laughing, like really fun
my emotion was UP. i am so angry~
but, i try to control myself, i shout out loud, and say STOP to play!
i ASKED: WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING?
WHAT HAPPENED JUST NOW?  YOU GUYS CAME AND BUMP ME. AND YET THIS IS A PLAY, AND RULE WERE SET! I WANT EXPLANATION!!
then, all quiet...no body talking, all in silent...
i looked around, the group of teenagers who purposely bump me still laughing

then,
my emotion start feel angry, i felt like i am being bullied
i felt like they purposely bump me, no respect me
i do not how did i turn
suddenly, i try to convert my angry to another form of expression
i role play that i was hit by the car... and i am dying
the person - the group of people who bump me running away
and i am dying, i am bleeding
i cried for help, ask the witnesses to block the person who bump me
asked somebody who standing aside to call ambulance

yet, no one help
finally the Ramakrishna kids come out and help me
when i de-roll myself
i asked all the participants to think,
WHY they act it so? let's think about the scenario if this is happens to any one of their love one, will they still stay ignorant?  will they still stood there but "KBC", while doing nothing?


* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *  ~  * ~  * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
I AM STILL SO SO SO ANGRY
PROFESIONALLY, I COMPLETE MY TASK
but, personally, i felt like i am being threatened, i feel like i am being assault
i could get injured by letting the group of teenagers bump on me
and it's recall me back of the experience where i were  being sexual harassment
i experience the feeling of helplessness, anxiety, angry
i felt like why i can't protect myself???

personally, i really angry. so so so so  angry
i still thinking of want to find out the person who bump me
and just gave him to hit on face~
but, life have to moved on~~
right?

i need to deal with my own inner angry
i need to look deep, why i am so MIND about the teenagers did to me
it is past, it is over, yet my body remember the uncomfortable feeling, the pain
the hurt

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *  ~  * ~  * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

some one told me. is my team members who follow in this camp
they told me: x10, i thought u are the one designed this, wow, you are so profesional ya~
some voices said:
they maybe want to test your limit and power
maybe you look so adorable, and you have a long hair, so, they intentionally want to disturb you
i think you look so arrogant, not friendly enough. that's WHY it's happens

i am reflecting it... i asked myself
what if, one day, when i am handling program
some of the teenagers （this juvenile delinquent) client  really bring something to harm facilitator? not necesarry me, but any body else? what can this organization do?? to protect facilitator/ counsellor in that time???

i am thinking too much...they say
maybe~

but, i am feeling unable to forget the bump, the hurt,
it's 4th day passed.........   what make me not moved out from this incident yet?
i wonder.........
LIFE MOVES ＯＮ～　
right?.... letting go..letting go, i tell myself....
it's a new day~


 

Secret Box

Thanks Priscilla and Alex,

i learn this , and i am using it now

in a family retreat program with juvenile delinquent teenagers and their parents

preparing the box, material, and asked the participants to choose a box

then, they will take some time to decorate the box, cut and paste to make the box lively

then, i asked the participant stay together with the box they create

try to look deep into the box

what the main message they want to tell to this special person

( i already told participant, this special person : for parents - to this special child, for child- writ to parents)

i asked them to think pf this specific person

imagine ~ what they want to say, what they want them to aware

then, i asked them to try to convey in drawing form, if unable to write

if they fell writing, just write a message for the special person

things they want the children/parents to know about~

take their time, provided time is 1 hours

they still can continue it from time to time~

when they finished doing it....

i kept it. till the last day, before they go back~

i asked to reveal the secret box

the father/mother will sit back to back

mother/father will take their box give to their child

The child will gave his box to parents

then, child will start read what is inside the box

parents just listen

tn other hand, children will listen to what he had written by parents

no comment, no interruption, but only listening to what had writen by each other 

then...

i asked them to turn to face-to-face

father/mother and children share about their feeling

sharing ONLY, clear instruction was  given

how they feel, when they read it, and listen for the message by both party

after this, i asked the parents to hold hand with children

they need to hold hand, and look into each others eyes

hold stronger the hand, and try to feel the hand of the father/mother/ child

well, 

after this, i give instruction ask the children to touch the face of parent

asked the parent to touch the face, the forehead

in the touching, i asked them to feel, how is parents now?

are they still strong? getting older？ any wrinkle at eye side?

then, i asked the children to convey thankfulness to parent

SAY : 

TERIMA KASIH - AYAH DAN IBU

SAY : 

MINTA MAAF, MAAFKAN SAYA AYAH DAN IBU

SAY : 

SAYA SAYANG KAMU, PAPA/MAMA

MOTHER/FATHER SAY: 

I LOVE YOU TOO~ 

HUG ` HUG```` each other

 then, i continue with a song, " KU ada MU"

asked them to hug for at least this SONG~

to stay close with the hug. feeling the heart-beat of each

silently ~

THE SECRET BOX TOUCH EVERYONE

ONLY LOVE DOES MATTERS

~ BRING LOVE TO HOME ~

BY: X10

1st session: 11.5.2010

setting up stage
i had bring my cloth and my toys far away from island to mainland.
it's really need a lot of time to put the toys neat and tidy :)
it's not a display, but will be a warm-up for my group children about what am i going to work out with them from May 2010 till November 2010.
It's a long term work.


today, i clock out from my office, island
then i reach the children HOME around 2.30pm in mainland
i start to discuss with my superior and my colleague about my own plan.
we start to do some brief discussion, then i let them know about the procedure i am going to run the group. The discussion agree that i will take in charge of the group as leader.

warm up
just would like to share, warm up is a very important to let the ball start rolling. in this children HOME, there is a habit whereby the children love to call adult, or the worker in that home (especially the staff) as ibu (Malay language meaning - mother), or as kakak ( Malay Language as sister) or cikgu (Malay Language as teacher)
i am not the children mother, i am not the children sister neither teacher. hence i refuge to asked them to call me that. i say i prefer u call my name, "10"

the rules had to be clear, i do not want them to have counter-tranference
the professional work had to be very clear, if not, later it will make the children confuse.
(as i know most of the children in the HOME is due to abuse, neglected by the parents)

Warm Up: Namastate:
Wishing each other well. Form a circle and getting to know each other

Children were asked to introducing themselves and run into centre to shout out their name by saying " i am x10, then make a movement" (shaking, crounch, jumps etc)

while i thought this maybe easy for the children to do so. but
there is a specific girl who take 10 minutes to able to do so.
the confidence level is such low, that she dare not show herself :)
a lot of debrief work and encouragement to her and able her to do that.

2nd activity to build trust:Driver and passenger game
pairs in group. passenger in front, driver at back.
driver will drive the passenger together....

observation:
most of the children did't follow instruction and did not blindfold the eyes.
3rd activity:
setting Ground rules
the children was provided blank paper and discussed what the rules they would like to put into this group. they can write it down or draw it out.

finally:10 rules being agree, as the children write it down on the paper. i make a simple conclusion here, as the children convey in Bahasa Melayu.

(1) follow rule
(2) pay attention
(3) listen
(4) follow instruction
(5) no fight/ be friendly
(6) punctual
(7) be nice to group member/ make friends with them
(8) cooperation/ work together
(9) keep this group as secret, not telling others' people
(10) when others member talk, keep quiet and listen

after that, children will called out one by one to read out loud the rules they agree, then the children will moved to station to paint their hand with colour they preferred.
Afterward, the children will print on the paper they had draw/write the rules

When they print their hand, they will write/initial their name there. meaning they agree to follow the rules being set by them together.

main development: sharing

children was asked to take one toy from the table, come back and sit in round, to share about that they choose. how thef feel about the toys, and what the toys remind about them?

closure : RELAXATION

the children was asked to put back all the toy on table
then the children was asked to lay down and in "dead man" position. imary technique was guide to let them feel relax.
children was giving a accreditation with what they show today.
like" u are such co-operative"
welldone! good!




***************************************************************

wow......
for me, this is really challenging work. if i m going to do it alone, really exacting
i am glad i have two c0-facilitator today to help me.

thought of today:
1. some of them really unable to give cooperative
2. love to disturb people, while rules have to be inform again and again :)
3. talkative
4. take a long time to settle down
5. age group with differ too much.

i think that's it at the moment.
will add on, if any thoughts come back to me

after a long break.......

yes, i am back again :)
it's had been a long time since i stop here.
before this, i had puposed to my superior WHY not do a group work with children in HOME? as there is alotof the children suffer psychological, emotionally, and most of them are in disequilibrium of emotion state. WHY not we do it and start group work?

for screening purpose, i had go to the HOME 3 times to review the file
the categorization work was done by my bos...

YES, finally, my group was given 10 of them, there will be a co-facilitator to help me.
and i am also become a co-facilitator for another group.

the preparation stage is a lot of work
screening, questionnaire
interview n etc

i would like to thanks: Melinda, Priscilla, Seok Binn, Phaik Nee and Cheng for theri effort to come out with a operatin Young Ones
with the agreement with them, i had distributed this mannual for my team in my workplace as guidance.

YES, i am not sure whether the team are going to use it?
but myself will try to run once and do some fine tuning :)

ALEX, thanky you again for willing to be my supervisor...
i will update u with my progress via blog and email

TQ

i think i am lucky,
and i think,
i am happy with what i doing now, though it is limited resources
but i learn to appreciate what i have and
contribute my effort for my community setting.

starting a group in children home

yes, this coming May
i am going to start a group work with children
i am having fear actually
after i had reviewing the background of the children
most of the children facing the emotional pain, unsecurity, violence, bullying, and the most important is most of the group children had been sexually abuse by ppl they know, include their parents

i am going to start a group work with them
TRUST is the most challenge issues for me.
i share the cppd group work module from ALS members with my colleague
i didn;t follow up with them whether it is applicable for them
but, for myself, i see this as a guideline for myself
and i will try to do some modification according to what had been plan

wish me all the best